I would take the "ugly" for the team if I had to TC. Wouldn't be the first time I played the role of wiiiiiingman.
I think in this case the term is schwingman.
I've never taken the "ugly", that's the job for all my buddys!
Some friend you are 
DIBS on all four!
lamparty
Is that the way they are actually supposed to wear string bikinis????