Dec 19, 07 01:35 pm — Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ASS?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
From a poor little road runner? He needs anger management counciling.
I'm telling you... he wants BLOOD. 
Can you cry under water? Yes.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If they know of someone that is planning on murdering someone and they don't intervene. They don't have to be present.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Al Gore's carbon offsets.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? No. The 72 virgins request that I be naked.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Its easier to fold something square from a single sheet.
What disease did cured ham actually have? Salt inhibits the growth of microorganisms by drawing water out of microbial cells through osmosis. Concentrations of salt up to 20% are required to kill most species of unwanted bacteria. Smoking, often used in the process of curing meat, adds chemicals to the surface of meat that reduce the concentration of salt required.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? NASA and Samsonite are 2 different entities.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? They are referring to the time period when a baby is actually asleep. Its very hard to wake one in a deep slumber.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? The movie is the entity in question, and you are IN the movie. The TV is the entity, but you are not IN the tv, but ON the screen.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway. Courtesy. I prefer to undress even if I'm going to the dentist, and I request their presence.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? I have no clue but its preposterous.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Its an olde tyme hit with the youngins of the day.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? no.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? It was a tv show. If they left the island on the first episode, we'd never get to see Gingers soaking wet tits through her dress on the last episode.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Walt Disney was a porn addict.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? The thrill of the hunt drove him to his compulsions.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Electricity doesn't come from electrons, but its the action of the electrons we call electricity. Morality comes from the minds and actions of decent people.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't. I've known this since I was 4.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ASS? Hemisphere is used wrong. Hemisphere describes the dissection of a sphere. The correct term that is needed is atmosphere.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Yes. The dog is smelling 1,000,000 times more things in the air when he sticks his head out the window, than you or I could. When you blow in his face, its just irritating because he can smell the oat meal you had for breakfast, and the bj you gave at work.
But even you didn't have answers for some of them. It's a puzzle alrighty.
Someone once told me that cracking corn was what they called it when you opened the cask that held the corn liquor.
If you were cracking corn, you were drinking whiskey. The song sort of implies that Jimmy was drinking during business hours but it didn't matter because the boss was out of town. More or less.
...and cutting cheese is exactly that; cutting cheese.
Good 'ol corn likker.::grin::
Likker?! But, I just met er!
ZemRrushe
Cos Wile E. Coyote wanted vengeance, not dinner.