Sep 11, 03 11:21 am — "It's raining again... blah... - he thought to himself. What a week - it started off nicely, but it turned into a 3-day lasting pour-fest. Just great, excellent stuff to keep you in a good mood. Right. He was just sitting there, in front of his computer, typing something - hitting those keys with a very melancholic rhythm. Like he didnt have a care in the world. As a matter of fact, like he was king of the world. Calm, a bit sleepy, seemingly relaxed.

He was thinking about her again. He probably misses her quite a bit. What she did to him was disappointing. What they did to him was also disappointing. She ignored him. He couldnt fit in with them. Stuck in the middle, he was the 3rd shoe everywhere he went, and apart from a few people, he didnt miss anyone from home.

He opened the window covers, and took a look outside. The rain stopped, and there was this sweet smell in the air, something that reminded him of things past. Something that took him back a couple of months, and it made him smile.
It was the two of them. Him and her, she was in his arms, they were in the park, sitting on the grass, talking about nonsense. And he was happy. Really happy. It was a summer day, and there was a summer rain, but they didnt care. They were enjoying each other to the fullest extent. The smell of the grass and touch of the rain took them by surprise - they were thrilled by everything, and in the same time by nothing. They were happy.

The sound of a car that passed under his window broke his dream. He's back. Hello world. Whoa, he was gone there for a while. He stayed by the window another few seconds, and he came back in. He was still thinking of her. He put his hopes up and got almost nothing, and he needed someone to be close to him. Some time ago, when he left home and moved out, into a different city, a different country, he thought he would keep in touch with his friends. And he was almost right - it's only a few hour drive, and then there's the internet, e-mail... And they did keep in touch. But whenever he went home, for a weekend or whatever, he felt more and more distanced from everyone. Sure, they were all there, and they were all talking, but somehow, he could never fit in.

He hoped for the summer. He hoped that when he goes home for the summer, he'd be home long enough to get back in the groove of things. He was home for two months, saw everyone, partied and enjoyed it as much as he could. As much as he could. The feeling of not belonging crept its ugly head again. He was there, amongst everyone, yet alone. He loved all of them, and he knew that they loved him. But they werent aware of what they were doing to him. Sure, he doesnt live there anymore, but friends are something different, right? Right?

It was a rather eventful summer, good things and bad things happened. He saw his best friend cry for the very first time, and it's a sight he's never going to forget. And again, he was right about how bad people can be. He saw who really cared about him, and he met a load of cool people. An eventful summer indeed - but not one he's proud of. He's quite disappointed - he went home feeling a bit disappointed with everything, but an optimist. He came back feeling worse then when he left, and feeling even more disappointed.

Homesick? No, he's not homesick - he doesnt have a lot of reasons to be. Sure, there are the people he loves there, but he doesnt really want to go back, there's nothing that pulls him back home. Sad.

He loved her. He probably still loves her. She didnt seem to care...

"I've got a babylon feeling" - he thought.